I recently learned that several of my readers are for the lack of a better description, tweens. Sorry if this offends you. I’m not really sure how to take this news. Don’t get me wrong; I’m deliriously happy that anyone would want to read this drivel. Yet I can’t but help feeling some misgivings. I’ve tried to maintain my humor at a representable level, but suddenly I find myself worrying about any expletives I’ve scattered about like so many antiquated landmines. It’s just a matter of time before one explodes. I’m an adult, perhaps only in the loosest sense of the term, but if you are not legally allowed to buy beer in the U.S. then I’m sorry, but I can’t grant you peer status. Believe me- this is no insult as there are plenty of people my age I don’t even acknowledge at this level, and it’s unlikely they would even care should they know. Regardless, I get the privileges that comes with age: one of these being beer and the other that I no longer get grounded by my parents. Much as they might like to.
That being said we need some ground rules.
My opinions are not your opinions. You might agree wit me but believe me that in time you are going to realize that not everything I say is true or even sane. You will develop your own ideas, and I will be happy to have had some part in that. Spouting off my opinions to your own parents, teachers, or other responsible adult could be a very hazardous to your well being. Who knows, they might praise it as genius, but it is safer to err on the side of caution.
Even though I’m all grown up, I still make mistakes. In the course of my writing I may drop one of the afore mentioned effluviate landmines. I’m not going to apologize because generally it is to emphasize a very strong emotion, and I’m not ashamed of that. Words only have meaning if you give them meaning. It’s really the intent that ought to get people worked up; there really is no difference between “damn it” and “darn it,” but polite society doesn’t feel the same way. That being said don’t you dare go off flinging expletives because you read it here. I am invoking an adult conspiracy here, and I refuse to deal with some some bull-headed parent blaming me for little timmy’s sass.
If it’s something you shouldn’t be reading. Don’t. You are on the honor system here. I understand your curiosity, but if your parents wouldn’t approve of something, avoid it. It’s better to be safe than curious. Besides it’s better to learn something from them uncomfortable and embarrassing as it might be. YOU are THEIR child, not mine. I take no responsibility for your conduct. I have enough to be responsible for.
The bottom line is I won’t have to get all parental if you will behave yourselves. Don’t post inane comments; I moderate them anyways. Don’t steal my stuff then credit it as your own; God only knows why you would. In short: don’t be a donkey. You can read whatever intent you want there.
